problem-solving process.

Here are seven-steps for an effective problem-solving process.

1. Identify the issues.

• Be clear about what the problem is.
• Remember that different people might have different views of what the issues are.
• Separate the listing of issues from the identification of interests (that's the next step!).

2. Understand everyone's interests.

• This is a critical step that is usually missing.
• Interests are the needs that you want satisfied by any given solution. We often ignore our true interests as we become attached to one particular solution.
• The best solution is the one that satisfies everyone's interests.
• This is the time for active listening. Put down your differences for awhile and listen to each other with the intention to understand.
• Separate the naming of interests from the listing of solutions.

3. List the possible solutions (options)

• This is the time to do some brainstorming. There may be lots of room for creativity.
• Separate the listing of options from the evaluation of the options.

4. Evaluate the options.

• What are the pluses and minuses? Honestly!
• Separate the evaluation of options from the selection of options.

5. Select an option or options.

• What's the best option, in the balance?
• Is there a way to "bundle" a number of options together for a more satisfactory solution?

6. Document the agreement(s).

• Don't rely on memory.
• Writing it down will help you think through all the details and implications.

7. Agree on contingencies, monitoring, and evaluation.

• Conditions may change. Make contingency agreements about foreseeable future circumstances (If-then!).
• How will you monitor compliance and follow-through?
• Create opportunities to evaluate the agreements and their implementation. ("Let's try it this way for three months and then look at it.")

Effective problem solving does take some time and attention more of the latter than the former. But less time and attention than is required by a problem not well solved. What it really takes is a willingness to slow down. A problem is like a curve in the road. Take it right and you'll find yourself in good shape for the straightaway that follows. Take it too fast and you may not be in as good shape.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

TOP 10 ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Being able to communicate effectively is an essential skill. Whether it’s in our business life or our personal relationships, effective communication is the key to our success.

Life coaching for effective communication is a fantastic way to learn and attain this skill.  Through a number of communication models, I’ll show you how to get ahead and stay ahead.

Here are my top ten essential skills for effective communication.  Master these skills now, and they’ll serve you well for a long time to come!

1. Listening

One of the most important aspects of effective communication is being a good listener.

People do not like communicating with others who are only interested in telling you what they want to tell you, and don’t listen to what you have to say.  Effective communication requires active listening, so practice active listening until it becomes second nature to you.

So what is active listening?  Active listening involves hearing and understanding what a person is saying to you.  Unless you understand clearly what a person is telling you, you can’t respond appropriately.  Gain clarification by asking questions or rephrase what you’re being told, so that you’re sure you fully understand the message that’s being conveyed to you.  For example, you could say “So, what you’re saying is…”

2. Non-Verbal Communication

The words we choose make up just 7% of the message being conveyed, which makes non-verbal communication all the more important. Body language is an important communication tool. Your body language should help convey your words.  Other factors you should consider are things like the tone of your voice, your hand gestures, and ensuring eye contact.

A person is going to be encouraged to speak openly with you if you are relaxed and have a friendly tone. Adopt an open stance position, with relaxed legs and open arms.  It is important that you make eye contact with the person you are communicating with, but be careful that you do not stare at them, as this is just uncomfortable.  It is just as important that you recognise the non-verbal signals being displayed by the other person.  These signals will give you an insight into how that person is feeling.

3. Be Clear and Be Concise

Convey your message using as few words as possible.  Whether in person, via telephone, or email, convey your message clearly, concise and direct. If you are excessive with your words, the listener will either lose focus or just be unsure as to what it is that you want.  Before speaking give some thought as to the message you want to convey. This will prevent you rambling and causing confusion.

4. Be Personable

When communicating face to face with someone, use a friendly tone with a simple smile, and ask a personal question. These things encourage the other person to engage in honest, open communication. When using written communication (e.g. email), you can achieve this by adding a simple personal message, for example, “How was your weekend?”.

5. Be Confident

Confidence underpins all effective communication. Other people will believe you will do as you say if you sound confident. Making eye contact, using a firm but friendly tone (never aggressive), are all ways you can exude confidence. Remember to always be listening to the other person and looking out for those nonverbal clues.

6. Empathy

Empathy is the skill of being able to understand and share the feelings of another person.

Even if don’t agree with the person you’re communicating with, it’s very important that you understand and respect their view. Simply saying to that person “I understand what you’re saying”, will let them know that you have been listening to them, and that you respect their point of view.

7. Always Have An Open Mind

Being an effective communicator requires that every conversation is approached with a flexible, open mind. This isn’t always easy to achieve, but is very important to communicating effectively. Always engage in active listening, and be sure to demonstrate empathy by acknowledging you understand what the other person’s point of view is. Adopting this approach will always ensure honest, productive communication.

8. Convey Respect

Other people will be more likely to engage in communication with you if you respect them and their ideas. Simply addressing another person using their name, will make them feel appreciated. If communicating via telephone, always keep focused on the conversation and avoid being distracted in any way. When communicating through email, take time to construct and edit your message, taking care to address the recipient by name.

9. Give and Receive Feedback

Giving and receiving appropriate feedback is an essential communication skill, particularly for those of us whose roles include managing other people. Providing constructive feedback, as well as giving someone praise, can greatly increase motivation and build morale.

It is just as important that you accept and encourage feedback from others. Always listen to feedback and act positively on it. If you’re unsure about any aspect of the feedback, simply ask a question to gain clarification from the other person.

10. Consider The Best Medium for The Job!

The final item on my list is knowing what the best form of communication is to use. Being mindful of using the best form of communication will result in your response being a positive one. Consider things such as, who it is you’re trying to communicate with, how important the topic is, and how busy that person might be. For example, asking your boss for a raise is never going to be taken seriously if you do it by text – so consider what’s appropriate!

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Stative verbs

Stative Verbs, Action Verbs, And Verbs That Are Both

Action Verbs

Action verbs (or dynamic verbs) are verbs that describe actions. We can use them in the simple or continuous forms. Here are a few examples of action verbs:

WALK

§  Every day I walk home from class.

§  I‘m walking to the store right now.

READ

§  I read mostly historical fiction.

§  I‘ve been reading a novel that takes place during colonial times.

HELP

§  My sister helps me with my homework.

§  My father is helping me learn how to drive.

WATCH

§  Bob watches four hours of TV every night.

§  Last night, he got angry at me because I changed the channel while he was watching his favorite show.

Stative Verbs

Stative verbs (or state verbs) describe a status or quality of something… NOT an action. Verbs of perception, opinion, the senses, emotion, possession, and state of being are often stative verbs.

Here are some examples:

STATIVE VERBS OF OPINION / PERCEPTION:

know, believe, understand, recognize, prefer, agree/disagree, approve/disapprove, suppose, suspect

§  I’ve known my best friend since childhood.

§  I‘ve been knowing my best friend since childhood.

§  We agree with you.

§  We‘re agreeing with you.

§  He doesn’t understand the article.

§  He‘s not understanding the article.

STATIVE VERBS OF POSSESSION:

have, own, belong, possess, include, owe

§  I have a bicycle.

§  I‘m having a bicycle.

§  This book belongs to the teacher.

§  This book is belonging to the teacher.

§  Our tour included a visit to the Modern Art Museum.

§  Our tour was including a visit to the Modern Art Museum.

STATIVE VERBS OF THE SENSES:

hear, smell, see, feel, appear, seem, resemble

§  I hear some music playing.

§  I‘m hearing some music playing.

§  This perfume smells like roses.

§  This perfume is smelling like roses.

§  He seemed upset last night.

§  He was seeming upset last night.

STATIVE VERBS OF EMOTION:

love, hate, like, want, need, desire, wish

§  I love ice cream.

§  I‘m loving ice cream.

§  She has always hated jazz.

§  She has always been hating jazz.

§  They need some help.

§  They‘re needing some help.

STATIVE VERBS OF STATES/QUALITIES:

weigh, contain, consist, measure, cost, exist, depend, deserve, involve, matter

§  This piece of meat weighs two pounds.

§  This piece of meat is weighing two pounds.

§  The box contained a pair of earrings.

§  The box was containing a pair of earrings.

§  Success depends on how much effort you make.

§  Success is depending on how much effort you make.

§  This class will involve lots of research.

§  This class will be involving lots of research.

§   

Verbs That Can Be Both Dynamic And Stative Verbs

Some verbs can function as BOTH action verbs and stative verbs!

Here are some examples:

BE

§  Stative:
He is immature. (he is always immature)

§  Action:
He is being immature. (he is temporarily acting immature)

HAVE

§  Stative: possession
I have a car. He has a dog.

§  Action: expressions with “have”
I’m having breakfast (eating breakfast).
He’s having fun (experiencing fun).

SEE

§  Stative: perception with your eyes; understanding
I see some birds.
I see what you mean.

§  Action: meet; have a relationship with
I’ll be seeing the doctor tomorrow.
They’ve been seeing each other for a month.

LOOK

§  Stative: appearance
That cake looks delicious!

§  Action: directing your eyes to something; phrasal verbs
He’s looking at the computer screen.
She’s looking for (= seeking) a job. 
They’re looking after (= taking care of) my dog for the weekend.

SMELL / TASTE

§  Stative: the quality of smell or taste possessed by something
The bar smells of smoke.
This meat tastes like chicken.

§  Action: when a person uses their nose or mouth to test something
He’s smelling the cookies.
She’s tasting the soup to see if it needs more salt.

THINK / FEEL

§  Stative: when talking about your opinion
I think that’s a great idea!
I feel that this is not the best use of our time.

§  Action: when using your mind, or experiencing emotions or health issues
We’re thinking about moving to another city.
I’ve been feeling unusually tired lately.

WEIGH / MEASURE

§  Stative: when talking about the quality possessed by something
The suitcase weighs 20 pounds.
The surfboard measures 2 meters by 55 centimeters.

§  Action: when a person performs the action of weighing/measuring something
The butcher is weighing the meat on the scale.
The architects were measuring the distance between the pillars.